Misconstructedresidue

18th June 2013

Post

An Empty Street, an empty house, a hole inside my heart~

So today finally came…. I had to say goodbye to Surrey. It maybe forever, it may not, who knows… but whatever it is… it will be for a long period of time.

Over the past 96 hours (yes, thats 4 days, for anyone who is questioning the duration), i have gone through periods of sadness, depression, frustration, and a whole myraid of emotions.

a lot of things can happen in 96 hours.. certain things i cannot disclose.. not here, not like this…. but within this 96 hours… i’ve had to slowly say goodbye, one by one, to 9 people whom i treated as family whilst here… i’ve had forcefully pack my things into a luggage that is all too small… i’ve had to leave a place i called home for almost 5 months.. 

I cant count the amount of times i have cried in the confinements of my room, or the times i have supressed my emotions with my housemates.. but these 96 hours have been hard.. REALLY HARD.

I dont know when i will get better.. i dont know when i will get over it… and i have a pretty damn good idea why im feeling this way… 

right now, its like i want to be home, yet i still cannot process the idea that i have already left guildford.. my mind is in a state of confusion and shock… i need to get out of this funk before i head to Korea and Japan.. 

):

in many ways its very stupid.. i mean.. i knew this wasnt going to last forever. i knew there was an expiration date.. i could have prepared myself for this.

But something in those last 96 hours.. or even before that.. something in that last week just made it THIS MUCH HARDER… i really couldnt have prepared myself for that.. no amount of preperation could have readied me for that.. that few moments.. it changed everything…

its stupid really…. i should just forget about all of this and move on with life.