So today finally came…. I had to say goodbye to Surrey. It maybe forever, it may not, who knows… but whatever it is… it will be for a long period of time.
Over the past 96 hours (yes, thats 4 days, for anyone who is questioning the duration), i have gone through periods of sadness, depression, frustration, and a whole myraid of emotions.
a lot of things can happen in 96 hours.. certain things i cannot disclose.. not here, not like this…. but within this 96 hours… i’ve had to slowly say goodbye, one by one, to 9 people whom i treated as family whilst here… i’ve had forcefully pack my things into a luggage that is all too small… i’ve had to leave a place i called home for almost 5 months..
I cant count the amount of times i have cried in the confinements of my room, or the times i have supressed my emotions with my housemates.. but these 96 hours have been hard.. REALLY HARD.
I dont know when i will get better.. i dont know when i will get over it… and i have a pretty damn good idea why im feeling this way…
right now, its like i want to be home, yet i still cannot process the idea that i have already left guildford.. my mind is in a state of confusion and shock… i need to get out of this funk before i head to Korea and Japan..
in many ways its very stupid.. i mean.. i knew this wasnt going to last forever. i knew there was an expiration date.. i could have prepared myself for this.
But something in those last 96 hours.. or even before that.. something in that last week just made it THIS MUCH HARDER… i really couldnt have prepared myself for that.. no amount of preperation could have readied me for that.. that few moments.. it changed everything…
its stupid really…. i should just forget about all of this and move on with life.
change the direction of the train if you concentrate
This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.
you will never EVER know how i really feel
and it will continue to be… but as someone once said… dont take life too seriously.. no one comes out alive anyway.
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